


Rainy

by yugsjae (defsweetheart)



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-06-14 20:10:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15396471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defsweetheart/pseuds/yugsjae
Summary: In a relationship, sometimes A loves B much more than B loves A.





	1. INTRO

**Author's Note:**

> I was brought upon by my 5sos phase (for like two weeks) to write something based off my favourite songs of theirs. The songs come in the 2nd & 3rd chapter; this will be a short fic that I've already pre-written but I might not post the chapters soon after each other. 
> 
> I always thought Markbum fit in well with angst, so it was quite easy to write this up. Enjoy.
> 
> Note: There aren't many Rainy lyrics that's going to be here. Nonetheless, go to listen to this beautiful [song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuEVcRpekG8)

_“I want to go back.”_

 

_“Are you sure that’s what you really want, Mark?”_

 

_“Yes.”_

 

It had been 4 years since Mark left Korea and returned back to his hometown, LA. It wasn’t that he disliked Korea… he just wanted to go back. But 4 years later, he wanted to return to Korea, where all his fame started, where his life started. JYP wanted to hold a reunion for all his acts; current and past, and it couldn’t come at a better time for the American than now.

 

Incheon Airport still looked the same, minus all the cameras, all his fansites he had recognized over the past 15 years in GOT7 had all grown up and moved on from Mark. He wasn’t in the Korean entertainment industry now anyway, he became a high-fashion model, signed to an elite model agency that housed A-listers such as Gigi Hadid and Sara Sampaio.

 

He didn’t tell anyone he was coming back, not Jinyoung, not Jackson, and especially not _him_. Mark was going to avoid being outside until the reunion itself, show up then return to LA. Yes, that’s his plan and **he was going to stick with it**.

 

_(But why did he buy an open-dated return ticket?)_

 

When Mark showed up at the reunion, needless to say, everyone was surprised. It was inevitable that he was seated with the other members of GOT7, but it was very nice to be able to catch up with what he used to call them: best friends.

 **Jackson** became a very successful artist worldwide and was considered one of the A-list rappers in the entire industry.

 **Jinyoung** continued on to become a very Korean actor and also a best-selling Young Adults author.

 **Youngjae** , unsurprisingly, became one of Korea’s and Asia’s best solo male artist as well as a renowned music therapist. Mark really didn't expect anything else.

 **Bambam** is a successful businessman, with a clothing line that rivals Gucci or Chanel, and B'Chill's expansion to over 20 cities in less than 5 years.

 **Yugyeom** became a renowned choreographer and just recently, opened up his own dance studio with his close dance friends and ex-idols like Ten and Lisa.

 **Jaebeom** , of course, became a very successful producer under the pseudo _DefSoul_ , and OFFSHORE became one of Korea’s elite production team.

 

There was _one_ thing Mark had wanted NOT to happen, and that was being left alone with his ex. His ex being the leader of the k-pop group he was in, his ex being the one that was seated to his left. And he sure as hell didn’t want said ex to talk to him one-on-one.

 

“Hey hyung, how have you been?”

 

“Good, how about you?”

 

“I’m great too, just released another single a week back.”

 

“Ah yes, **Rainy**. It’s good,” Mark immediately blurted out, eyes widening upon realisation that he didn’t mean to say that out loud.

 

“Oh, you heard it? Thank you.”

 

“Yeah,” _Well, might as well be honest_ , “I’ve heard all your songs, they’re good.”

 

“Thank you, your pictures are great as well. I always knew you’d be a good model.”

 

“Oh, thank you.” Mark was shocked, he didn’t think his ex would’ve seen him model.

 

Another realisation came to his mind, could JB even be considered his ex… _if they never broke up?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to leave kudos, comments or talk to me on twitter: [defsweetheart](https://twitter.com/defsweetheart)  
> i'm also on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/defsweetheart)


	2. MARK

When Mark decided he wanted to leave Seoul for good, JB was devastated. They had been dating for almost 5 years, and his boyfriend just decided to leave all that behind?

 

“No, JB, I’ve thought about us. We can definitely keep up a long-distance relationship, you can come over sometimes, and I’ll fly over too. It’s not that hard, the love we have for each other is strong and nothing like distance could separate us. I promise we’d still be together, even when we are 5953 miles apart.” Oh boy, was he wrong.

 

It wasn’t another person, it wasn’t the distance, but Mark overestimated the strength of their love for each other. Yes, they did love each other but there was such a thing as falling out of love too.

 

And that was where it all started.

****

**_Six weeks since I've been away_ **

**_And now you're sayin' everything has changed_ **

 

It was weird, having to live by himself after living in a dorm with his other members for so long. It was also weird to not have someone else sleeping beside him, like he was used to for the past 5 years with Jaebeom. It wasn’t _bad_ weird though, but it wasn’t _good_ weird. It’s just a mix of both, sleeping alone serving him as a constant reminder that he’s on his own now. No one to wake up to, to drink coffee with, to have morning cuddles with. It’s just Mark Tuan.

 

Of course, a lot of things has changed. Mark had to find his own path now, he had no one, no staff to handle it for him. Lucky for him, he had multiple offers, and went with the agency that caters to his beliefs and him the most.

 

But between Jaebeom and Mark, things were still going well. They still called each other every night, facetimed when they could, and Mark really thought then they could make it.

 

A few weeks in, Jaebeom off-handedly had commented that everything felt different, like they had changed, but the elder just brushed it off.

 

“Of course, it’ll feel different! Nothing’s the same as it was when we were in GOT7.”

 

_Well, Mark should have known better._

 

**_Oh, everyday_ **

**_You feel a little bit further away_ **

**_And I don't know what to say_ **

 

Gradually, the calls and texts decreased. They were both too busy with their new lives, and the vast difference in time zones didn’t help at all. Work had kept Mark so busy, when he wasn’t shooting, he was at parties after parties, events after events, socialising with other people, and when he wasn’t at parties, he was on a plane across the continent for another gig.

 

He had no time to miss Jaebeom. And truthfully, Mark never even thought to remember him since he had started work. He missed his calls, was too tired to reply back, and eventually, just forgot him altogether. When he did remember Jaebeom though, he missed him, but it felt like he was too far to spend too much time moping about him. The next thing he knew, he was rushed into the dressing room to change into his next outfit.

 

**_Are we wasting time_ **

**_Talking on a broken line?_ **

**_Telling you I haven't seen your face in ages_ **

**_I feel like we're as close as strangers_ **

**_Won't give up_ **

**_Even though it hurts so much_ **

**_Every night I'm losing you in a thousand faces_ **

**_Now it feels we're as close as strangers_ **

 

When Mark wasn’t too tired, he did give a call to Jaebeom once. The younger picks up, they talk for 10 minutes, and then one of them had to go. Their daily calls quickly became monthly ones. And when Mark had properly thought about how he hadn’t seen Jaebeom’s face for 3 months, even on Facetime, it will start to hurt. It hurts because the face he used to see on the daily, he hasn’t seen in months, and it hurts even more when he realises that it’s his fault. It was Mark’s own failure for not bothering to check on his own boyfriend, because during the other times he hadn’t had proper time to think, he thought it didn’t matter.

 

**_Late night calls and another text_ **

**_Is this as good as we're gonna get?_ **

**_Another timezone taking me away from you_ **

 

Mark travels a lot. It was always to the same few places - Paris, London, Sydney, Beijing, Shanghai, New York, LA, Rome, Ibiza. It felt like everywhere, but nowhere near Jaebeom.

 

Between the both of them, it was just a text or two to see how they were, and then it’s done. Not once did he think to talk the relationship - or lack thereof - with the other. They’d make it work, Mark had promised, he’d make it work.

 

**_Living dreams in fluorescent lights_ **

**_While you and I are running out of time_ **

**_But you know that I'll always wait for you_ **

 

Mark was living his best life, getting recognized almost instantly, climbing up the model industry so fast, he had to choose between modelling for Anna Wintour or Karl Lagerfield. It was all flashing lights and cameras when he gets on the red carpet, it was definitely a large upgrade from the usual few fansites he used to get.

 

There were no more fansigns for him, no more hi-touch, concerts, fanmeets. Now they only way he could meet his fans was the short 2 minutes’ walk from the drop-off point to the entrance of the event, all he could do was say hi and sneak in a few hi-fives, but other than that, he would never meet his fans again until the next one.

 

He thinks about Jaebeom from time to time, but it also had been 1 year since he left, 7 months since they facetimed, 5 months since their texts stopped and 4.5 months since their last call. He thinks Jaebeom knew Mark had broken his promise. And he thinks Jaebeom knew Mark had moved on from the past, from him.

 

Mark didn’t know why he stopped talking to Jaebeom, he still loved him so. It’s just… different now. He didn’t feel the need to bother with Jaebeom now, he didn’t feel like being in the relationship anymore. It sounded crude, but that’s just it, there was nothing else keeping him from keeping up with the relationship anymore. This was just how he was purely feeling.

 

_And he is in favour of it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song: close as strangers by 5sos
> 
> feel free to leave kudos, comments or talk to me on twitter: [defsweetheart](https://twitter.com/defsweetheart)  
> i'm also on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/defsweetheart)


	3. JAEBEOM

**_Here I am waking up, still can't sleep on your side_ **

**_There's your coffee cup, the lipstick stain fades with time_ **

**_If I can dream long enough, you'd tell me I'd be just fine_ **

**_I'll be just fine_ **

 

Jaebeom knew the relationship wasn’t going to work out. He hated the distance, and he just knew Mark wouldn’t bother with him anymore, eventually.

 

And he was right.

 

But that didn’t stop him from missing the other though. He missed naturally turning to the left and hugging the body beside him when he woke up, but now the space that once stood a small body, felt much bigger. Jaebeom felt so empty, eventually changing out the queen size for a single bed. He didn’t need the space anymore anyway, he knew Mark wouldn’t bother with him anymore, eventually.

 

Jaebeom had vivid dreams. He was usually thankful for them, but all the dreams had become nightmares. The dreams of Mark lying down naked beside him, laughing his heart out and kissing him senseless, haunted him. It felt like whoever was controlling his dreams was mocking him for being abandoned, because everyone knew Mark wouldn’t bother with him anymore, eventually.

**_So I drown it out like I always do_ **

**_Dancing through our house with the ghost of you_ **

**_And I chase it down, with a shot of truth_ **

**_Dancing through our house with the ghost of you_ **

**_Cleaning up today, found that old Zeppelin shirt_ **

 

The apartment that Jaebeom and Mark once shared after they decided to move out of the dorm together, the former was still staying in it. He planned to never move out of it, although it’s 2 rooms too big for someone living alone, but it was the one thing he had left of Mark.

 

The apartment felt too big eventually, but Jaebeom still refused to move out, despite Jinyoung and Youngjae telling him to. He knows it’s good for him to leave, it had been 6 months since they had last seen each other anyway, but it felt like Mark was still there.

 

He could feel Mark running to him when Jaebeom came home from JJ Project activities, he could feel Mark when they were both just lying down lazily in the bathtub or on the couch, watching re-runs of Park & Recreation or Modern Family. He could feel Mark even when he’s 2 soju bottles in, telling strangers all about you, crying in a booth alone when the bar’s closing time is near, which always meant that Jinyoung had to come pick up the broken pieces of Jaebeom that Mark had left.

 

**_We're too young, too dumb, to know things like love_ **

**_But I know better now, better now_ **

 

Maybe, _Jaebeom thought,_ they were too young to love. They had spent most their lives training, endless 24-hour practices, early morning music show recordings, there wasn’t any time to get into a relationship. They couldn't too, because of the rule, and after the rule, they were all scared of the backlash they might get from dating other people.

 

He knew he loved Mark, he had always known Mark was more than a friend to him than the others were. With Mark, it felt like he wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, he could give all his love to him, and he didn’t want it back. Perhaps he was too naive, that someone like Mark, who is, at this point, a world-famous model. Mark could have anyone he wanted, someone much better than Jaebeom, so why settle for a local producer?

 

Jaebeom knows better _now_. It had been one year since Mark left. He knew better than hope that Mark would still want to be with him after the past year, he knew better than to wait. He knew better now, but he didn’t want to let go.

 

**_Too young, too dumb_ **

**_To know things like love_ **

**_Too young, too dumb_ **

 

Jaebeom knew Mark would break his promise. A year ago, he was dumb, he was naive, he was too innocent in love and thought every story had a happy ending. But he wasn’t that dumb to know that Mark would eventually leave him. He knew he would, but it was just a matter of when.

 

So, when they hadn’t talk in 4 months, he knew it was over. Jaebeom wasn’t dumb _now_. Mark didn’t love him anymore, he didn’t care anymore. Jaebeom had to move on, despite none of them confirming what their relationship is. Jaebeom had made the effort, _probably a little too much now that he realised,_ most of them gone to waste because the elder didn’t bother anymore. But love goes both ways, you know? When Mark hadn’t replied to his very last message, a simple ‘Hey, what are you doing?’ **_Jaebeom knew it was time._**

 

So, Jaebeom moved out, moved into a nicer, smaller apartment near Goyang, so he could still be close to his parents, but still have his own space. He packed all of Mark’s belongings (there wasn’t much) and donated them off. _It wasn’t like Mark needed them anyway._

 

**_So I drown it out like I always do_ **

**_Dancing through our house with the ghost of you_ **

**_And I chase it down, with a shot of truth_ **

**_That my feet don't dance like they did with you_ **

 

The last day at the apartment, Jaebeom had cried the entire day. That day, the amount of love and missing for Mark rang loudly in his ears. It was almost deafening, to the point that he’d do anything for it to end.

 

Bottles of beer circled around him as he looked around the apartment again, as much as he could through blurry eyes and a clouded mind. He could still feel Mark’s presence, even if he hadn’t been there for a year. He could still feel Mark running around the house, playing with NoKunO. He could still feel Mark’s warmth, from all the skinship he likes to give, even if it’s been a year and a little more since their last touch.

 

He could still feel Mark, and even when the elder had let him go, he hasn't.

 

Jaebeom stood up, quickly pulling out the notebook (that Mark had bought for him for his birthday, engraved with his name), and scribbled on the lyrics he had managed to think of, amidst his inner turmoil, before he forgot.

 

**_I know we’re not together anymore_ **

**_But I keep loving you, even today_ **

**_I love you_ **

**_I love you alone._ **

 

* * *

 

_“I’m sorry.”_

 

_“What for?”_

 

_“For leaving you.”_

 

_“Is that it?”_

 

_“For breaking my promise.”_

 

_“I knew you would.”_

_“‘I’m sorry.”_

 

_“I’m sorry too.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayo so yes..... it's just another p.o.v....... i don't plan on having a sequel to this but if you hang in tight <3, i have a another markbum fic lurking somewhere.... in Park Jinyoung's wise words... "Soon."
> 
> songs: 5SOS - Ghost of You; JB - Rainy
> 
> feel free to leave kudos or comments if you wanna! come talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/defsweetheart)  
> or [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/defsweetheart)


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